I got no chills today. Behaving like a soul trapped in a dead body for a month; it gives me goosebumps to see myself helpless. Surely my skills haven’t improved neither my writing style. But does anyone care? Our lives are stuck beyond the realm of truth and health. Toxicity pouring in from everywhere , in my thoughts and the world , wouldn’t you agree?
The wait is never going to last but my regret will. No one to blame, no where to complain , all I want is that someone hears my heart out. Only a year I had . The first semester was gone to adjust to the classroom culture again. Those restrictions, that unnecessary peer pressure.
Friendships takes time to mature, and when they had ripen, the virus snatched it away. This was supposed to be my last semester of having fun , having late night coffee and long walks that made no sense. While I was at the coaching, I deprived myself of the zeal and fervour of life. I regained it during my masters. Surely to ask, I am here for what? To be masters of law or masters of crisis? Latter maybe , owing to the fact that Sristi and me always were discussing our mid life existential crisis, day by day criticizing our ill fated decision making abilities. Consequently, our introspection about life was really a thing to do first in the morning. Yep, daily!
I had finally made few friends over here , having same colorless and imperfect lives , who were up for a tea always and never up for studies. I do not remember having attend canteen more than classes before this(*I didn’t followed the classes for two whole months this semester, great memories follows*) . No one could make discussions fun as them all. And what about the course? We’ll all finish it in the same way we do it now. Self assessments and note making. College is about making memories and growing together with people around you. I met some amazing amaaaazing talented people during my stay. How could I forget them? How will I bid them goodbye? Talking about that I worry about my unplanned farewell. Well, as they say- no farewells to good friendships.
Dancing to naagin gin gin gin… gin will not be forgotten misses! Those UNO nights , *kitty ko khana khilaana* *paudho ko pani dena* *saath mein bartan dhona*! How a friend of mine made me addicted to snapchat.! Too many snap stories to post and too less of a logic to make. This was supposedly the last semester to gather my life and career , all of which did fall apart eventually.
Counting every passing day , I wonder what new could I have done today to make my life bloom. My monthly planner lying in the hostel cupboard , carrying unfinished quirky daily tasks which won’t be acted upon. This crisis had taken my sanity. Today I lay in my bed, insomniac, I wish my hostel room be missing me just like I miss those cozy vibes. How would I speak foul for bearing intense heat at the hostel now? I miss that feeling of missing good food and having unstable life . I miss cancelling plans to roam around. Saying NO to everything everytime someone shoots at me any question regarding entertainment . No where to go , no where to cry. How this life can be tolerated anymore I don’t really have a clue! Nevertheless, this all made it the best semester of mine , made me achieve new heights and new lifetime prizes.
Thanks for the read 💕 share if you too could relate too.!!! Until the next time , lots of love from yours,
If you like this one , you might like Realisation is now!