Yaadein mithai ki dabbe ki tarah hoti hai , ek baar khula to sirf ek tukda nahi kha paoge – NAINA (YJHD)
Hey guys! Being locked at home, I came across this decade-old diary of mine when one afternoon I was checking my old books and novels. I started writing in 6th class but wasn’t regular. The entries in the current one relates back to class 7th and 8th. Such a soothing feeling to read what I went through, sweet memories and bitter. Although it just kept getting funnier with each page *it seems funny now because I have grown past them*. However, I would like to admit that it was embarrassed to look back and how!! Paying closer attention to old memories, you clearly see that what you are today is a bigger, better, and happier version of your yesterday.
It seems like I had a lot of worries back then related to my aspirations about school life. Like literally! I couldn’t find a single page where I was talking about anything except it. Gosh! being obsessed with friends and gossips must have been very tiring for me. It amuses me that I literally wrote down details of my day. One such like “hey diary you know my friend from section C did something very horrible to her friend. ( Yes, it contains lots of filthy secrets no one remembers anymore) I mean what? Why? I’ve no clue.
And with a very light heart, I promise that I won’t be judging people on their grammar anymore. Yes! I’ve been a grammar nazi but looking at my own authored work, today I want to roast myself. Denoted “embarrassed” as “embraced”, I mean what was I even thinking? There is no end to my laughter.
Leaving funnier things aside, writing diaries are a lot more what it seems prima facie. I have always been a person who loves to record memories *(insert “yahi baatei to baad mein yaad ayengi.jpg” meme)* I don’t know why I just want to remember everything (that’s even today). It’s so heartwarming to look at the pages and realize that there was so much to live than just going to school with friends. I re-read the pages where I patiently described the qualities of my friends and it feels so overwhelming to look at how close we were back then in 7th Class.
This diary not only contained my deep felt emotions and complaints, but also things like what I truly felt. My first crush, my first fight with my best friend, the equation I shared with numerous people in my circle and it just feels so wholesome today. Everyday stories gave an insight into how my life actually was. I lowkey re-lived those days again. Also, does anyone remember animes like Cardcaptor sakura and Digimon along with the-then-weird-series Samurai Jack? I have no clue what we perceived from those animations. I do not remember a single episode today. Also, I encountered many paragraphs here and there stating”kal exam hai but mann nahi kr rha padhne ka” which shows how big of a procrastinator I have been ever since.
Too many things to remember , too many things to let go . It felt amazing to look back and realise how far I’ve come in this journey. I honestly feel so grateful to have lived my life in such a way that it impacts my decisions even today. After recollecting all these memories, I threw the scrap pages away, tearing them down and letting go of all the energies they held. They simply did not serve me anymore. It relieved me to a great extent watching burden of the past leave my surface. I can see why I kept those diaries and pages anyway. It was for me to rewind the life one day and assure myself that if I can survive all those heartbreaking friendships and stress , I can do it again anytime I want. Growing stronger is all what we should look forward to.
Thank you for the read and we shall meet again !
Love , Red September